How do you define success?

Am I successful...

If I'm rich beyond years? If I live in a 9k square foot home, with a 4-car garage, 2 kitchens and a indoor swimming pool? Would I be successful if my name was cheered around the world, and favored by all? If I had a household name and if millions of people recognized my face in several countries around the world? If people knew me for my music, books, speaking or acting ability...Is that success?

Personally, I don't think any of those things equal success. Although, I don't see anything wrong with them, should they determine the level of our success. Think about it, If I gave you a million dollars, we all could find something to do with the money. But how long before I would need a million more. The money would be gone in the blink of an eye, especially if weren't used to handling that much money. If you had the notoriety, where does it end? At what point would it be worth it just to be able to walk to the grocery store without being mobbed by a crowd of people or followed by the paparazzi.

Khary...where you going with this?

I think that our focus should be more long term. That its not just about the fame and fortune for me and myself but that we use those assets to make deposits in things that extend beyond our reach. That success should be centered around things more eternal. Something that would last well after you've departed from this world. I believe that to be successful our our legacy should extend to the people that we've touched, impacted or encouraged while we're on this earth.

Follow me with this...Its the now-parent that is telling their children the same corny sayings that were told to them as a kids. Its the memories of childhood that you tell your spouse and children even to this day. Its the important life-moments that you hold dear will never forget as long as you live. Its the opportunity to do an about-face and look at all the lives of people that you've touched or made a difference in their life. Those are the things that people talk about forever; things that extend to generations to come.

So, in my best Peoples Hernandez voice (The villian from Samuel L. Jackson's version of Shaft)...."This is what I propose....."

That we focus on whats really important to us. Then dream big and set goals/milestones to be successful at whats important to us. I have compartmentalized this life thing for me primarily into 3 buckets and look to live to maximize these areas - family, generosity, and stewardship.


Family. There are very few things on the earth that gives me greater pleasure than spending time with my family. I want to spend my time on this earth loving my family and appreciating the time that I have with them while they're here. I look forward to enjoying time with my wife (once I'm married) and sharing laughs and inside jokes with only her. To grow old with the woman that I love. I look forward to watching Zoe grow into the woman that God has called her to be and the same for any more children that the good Lord blesses me with. I want to cheer on my sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, cousins and the like as they make decisions through life. I want to make an eternal investment in those that are closet to me.

Some of my goals/milestones for my family tier would look like this: 

•  Celebrate my 50th year wedding anniversary
• Take a family vacation / road trip in a luxury RV
• Leave a substantial inheritance for my grandchildren and be alive to give it to them
• Walk Zoe down the isle on her wedding day
  

Generosity. My second tier would be to live a life of generosity. As I mentioned earlier, there is nothing wrong with having money, I just don't think the chase should be after the paper. Please don't get it twisted, I would love to have the house that I mentioned earlier but not just for show. I would use the wealth to be more generous. Can you imagine the family reunions or Christmas gatherings you could have at your house with a house that size? Or the amount of people you could help, financially if were making millions. I want to be caught being and living the life of a giver. I plan to make millions, but I don't plan on spending it just on me.

These are some of the things that I'd like to see happen in this generous tier:

•  Give away house(s) to other people - debt free
• Pay off someones outstanding debt
• Buy someone a brand new car (Can you tell that I hate debt?)
• Fund someone on a mission trip

Stewardship. Finally, my third tier is to be a good Steward. I know that I'm going to have lots of things and its going to take a lot to make some of these things happen. But the point is that I want to be responsible with everything that comes into my hands. Whether its with the day care, real estate, authoring books, or whatever, I need to be a good manager. I've always had a good business acumen and heart for good customer service, so I think its only a matter of time before those things materialize into something bigger. I want to take those dreams that I have of "more" and develop them, live them, and manage them to the best of my ability.

I've also set goals for this tier as well:

• Write a children's book series
• Create an app
• Open a daycare franchise
• Become a perpetual member of the "million dollar" club in real estate

Of course, your tiers and goals will vary from mine, but I encourage everyone to think beyond money, fame, and notoriety only for yourself. Focus your life on things that are eternal on things that will extend beyond your reach...i.e. your children, your family, other people. Things that will be remembered long after we're gone. And then once you've established your tiers, think about the goals/milestones for those tiers.

Your goals should be something that will keep you dreaming a lifetime. We should never stop dreaming and reaching for goals. Dreams are not just for young people. Even in your old age, you should be dreaming of how you can add to your list. As you accomplish the goals on your list and as your dreams become more clear, modify the list. Add clarity to the existing dreams or add new dreams to the list all together. Then live long enough to see them come to pass. Don't live with regret!! Don't get to the end of your life and think, "If I'd only done (blank)". Nope, that's not for you! Wake up and Live!!

To steal a quote from author Mark Batterson, "May you die young, at a very old age"!!

I am a king and these are my thoughts....

Second Mile Week 1 - Jeremiah 17:7-8

I recently enrolled into Second Mile, a leadership training class, being held at MY church (The Life Church of Memphis). I thought about doing a separate blog for the training, but since I'm new to this blog game I thought I'd just leave it here and figure this thing out as I go. One of our homework assignments is to memorize a bible verse weekly. This week's verse is found in Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NIV 1984).

Blessed is the man who trust in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.

He will be like a tree planted by water, who sends its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.

This verse jumped off of the page when I read it. What stood out so much to me was the fact that Jeremiah used one of those simile things to compare a man that trusted in God to a tree. I mean, a tree of all things!! Well since the comparison was made, I thought that I would write about it and I wrote down what I hear when I read these verses:


The man that trust in the Lord that finds a way to but his confidence in God oppose to his paycheck, his education, his woman, or anything else we tend to trust in. This man will have a special favor, enlightenment and "swagger" on his life. And this swagger will mimic these four things:

1. He does not fear when heat comes: 

Heat represents the stress(es) of our life. The things that will literally kill you if you allow them to do it. For us, that could mean debt or an obnoxious bill collector. The whispers of unemployment and the rising cost of everything. Its the intense feeling of pain in our bodies that wake us out of our sleep. Or the phone call that alerts of death/sickness to our children or someone in our family. Its the reality of being faced with a potential bankruptcy, foreclosure or divorce. All of these things bring a degree of heat to our life, but this verse says that you won't fear in those times. It doesn't mean that the heat isn't coming, it just means that we're not bothered by it. This man is not in fear, toting these worries on his back. Rather he is relying on a God strong enough to carry these problems for him.

Why does this man not fear when the heat comes? Because he has confidence in a God who is bigger than the heat that comes and confident that his God will see him through them.

2. His leaves are always green: 

A great indicator for the life of a tree is in the leaves. A healthy, robust tree is garnished with some of the biggest, brightest and greenest leaves. And a tree that vibrant can be seen from a far off. Similarly, this dude is strong, vibrant and healthy. He's the epitome of wellness and you can see it on him from a distance. He looks good, walks with his head up and greets people with a smile. He has a swagger about him that exudes confidence.

Why does this man have that swagger? Because his confidence is in his God, that helps him to look "fresh".

3. He has no worries in a year of drought: 

When I read this line, I thought about how often I say, "No Worries" to certain situations and circumstances in life. I found it interesting that in a time of drought, famine, lack or when the economy is at its worse, this guy isn't bothered by those circumstances. It doesn't matter if it now cost him $80 bucks to fill his tank where it was once a skosh under $40. Or if his house doesn't appraise for what it once did when he bought it. His confidence is in the Lord!! He doesn't complain about the gas prices, instead he believes that he'll always have the $80 when he goes to the tank. He's thankful that, his God provided for him once again. And he is thankful that when he is ready to sell his home that God will work out the transaction, allowing him to have a quick sale and still make a profit. This guy is fearless regardless of what the world is doing and saying around him.

Why is he able to say "No Worries", in a season when everything appears to be failing all around him? Because he is confident in the Lord's economy and he operates in that one.



4. He never fails to bear fruit!!

Anything that bears fruit is really a testament to its productivity and effectiveness and I get that. But what really stands out to me, is that the words "never fail" was used to describe his productivity. I'm normally skeptic when people use words like "always and never" because I think there's always an exception to the rule. Someone says "You never speak when you come into the office." Really?? I have never spoke at least once when I walked through those doors? Not even once?? (Insert Skeptic Face). But that flawless record has to be taken into consideration when its presented in the bible!! This verse says that this guy will bear fruit (be productive, effective) EVERY TIME, IN ANY PLACE, WITHOUT FAIL..ALWAYS!! Put this dude anywhere and he's rising to the top; he improves everything and everyone around him. This guy is the Magic Johnson of men (making everyone around him better, get it??)....

Why will this man "never fail" to be effective, "always" producing, thriving and giving? You already know...

May your confidence always be in a God that never fails....

I am a king and these are my thoughts.....

Look at your boy!!! I'm writing!

Look at your boy!!! I'm writing!

A lot of people don't know this about me, in whole because I've never told them, but I've always liked to write. I never thought that I would write a book or become a journalist, but it was just something that I enjoyed doing from time to time. I remember sitting in my parents office with an idea of a movie or TV show and I would sit there for hours typing out the idea(s). In fact, it became the most exciting thing I would do while I waited for my parents to come of their cramped office.

Oddly enough as I grew older, I buried that dream under what I called "life"...basketball, video games, criticism, and any other thing that I thought was more important. In my "old age", Ive realized that its more to write. In fact, if you get nothing else from this diatribe, please remember that you should never stop reading and writing. I'm thinking about my life now, dreams, thoughts now and I want to write about it. So, Ive decided to pick up the desire to write again.

And as I blow the dust off of this desire to write, I don't know where it will take me. I would like to write several books. I'm not sure if they'll be published or not, but at least I'm trying. Its like that episode of "A Different World", where Dewayne does a popular dance in Whitley's face to which she replied, "you're doing it wrong"! Dewayne replied with a line that has stuck in mind for many years.."but, I'm doing it"!!

Ive realized that its not all about knowing the "right/wrong" moves before you reach toward your dreams. The point of it is to make sure that you're at least reaching. Never stop believing...Never stop reaching!!

Until my next post....