Thursday, October 18, 2012

How do you define success?

Am I successful...

If I'm rich beyond years? If I live in a 9k square foot home, with a 4-car garage, 2 kitchens and a indoor swimming pool? Would I be successful if my name was cheered around the world, and favored by all? If I had a household name and if millions of people recognized my face in several countries around the world? If people knew me for my music, books, speaking or acting ability...Is that success?

Personally, I don't think any of those things equal success. Although, I don't see anything wrong with them, should they determine the level of our success. Think about it, If I gave you a million dollars, we all could find something to do with the money. But how long before I would need a million more. The money would be gone in the blink of an eye, especially if weren't used to handling that much money. If you had the notoriety, where does it end? At what point would it be worth it just to be able to walk to the grocery store without being mobbed by a crowd of people or followed by the paparazzi.

Khary...where you going with this?

I think that our focus should be more long term. That its not just about the fame and fortune for me and myself but that we use those assets to make deposits in things that extend beyond our reach. That success should be centered around things more eternal. Something that would last well after you've departed from this world. I believe that to be successful our our legacy should extend to the people that we've touched, impacted or encouraged while we're on this earth.

Follow me with this...Its the now-parent that is telling their children the same corny sayings that were told to them as a kids. Its the memories of childhood that you tell your spouse and children even to this day. Its the important life-moments that you hold dear will never forget as long as you live. Its the opportunity to do an about-face and look at all the lives of people that you've touched or made a difference in their life. Those are the things that people talk about forever; things that extend to generations to come.

So, in my best Peoples Hernandez voice (The villian from Samuel L. Jackson's version of Shaft)...."This is what I propose....."

That we focus on whats really important to us. Then dream big and set goals/milestones to be successful at whats important to us. I have compartmentalized this life thing for me primarily into 3 buckets and look to live to maximize these areas - family, generosity, and stewardship.


Family. There are very few things on the earth that gives me greater pleasure than spending time with my family. I want to spend my time on this earth loving my family and appreciating the time that I have with them while they're here. I look forward to enjoying time with my wife (once I'm married) and sharing laughs and inside jokes with only her. To grow old with the woman that I love. I look forward to watching Zoe grow into the woman that God has called her to be and the same for any more children that the good Lord blesses me with. I want to cheer on my sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, cousins and the like as they make decisions through life. I want to make an eternal investment in those that are closet to me.

Some of my goals/milestones for my family tier would look like this: 
  •  Celebrate my 50th year wedding anniversary
  • Take a family vacation / road trip in a luxury RV
  • Leave a substantial inheritance for my grandchildren and be alive to give it to them
  • Walk Zoe down the isle on her wedding day

Generosity. My second tier would be to live a life of generosity. As I mentioned earlier, there is nothing wrong with having money, I just don't think the chase should be after the paper. Please don't get it twisted, I would love to have the house that I mentioned earlier but not just for show. I would use the wealth to be more generous. Can you imagine the family reunions or Christmas gatherings you could have at your house with a house that size? Or the amount of people you could help, financially if were making millions. I want to be caught being and living the life of a giver. I plan to make millions, but I don't plan on spending it just on me.

These are some of the things that I'd like to see happen in this generous tier:
  •  Give away house(s) to other people - debt free
  • Pay off someones outstanding debt
  • Buy someone a brand new car (Can you tell that I hate debt?)
  • Fund someone on a mission trip

Stewardship. Finally, my third tier is to be a good Steward. I know that I'm going to have lots of things and its going to take a lot to make some of these things happen. But the point is that I want to be responsible with everything that comes into my hands. Whether its with the day care, real estate, authoring books, or whatever, I need to be a good manager. I've always had a good business acumen and heart for good customer service, so I think its only a matter of time before those things materialize into something bigger. I want to take those dreams that I have of "more" and develop them, live them, and manage them to the best of my ability.

I've also set goals for this tier as well:
  • Write a children's book series
  • Create an app
  • Open a daycare franchise
  • Become a perpetual member of the "million dollar" club in real estate

Of course, your tiers and goals will vary from mine, but I encourage everyone to think beyond money, fame, and notoriety only for yourself. Focus your life on things that are eternal on things that will extend beyond your reach...i.e. your children, your family, other people. Things that will be remembered long after we're gone. And then once you've established your tiers, think about the goals/milestones for those tiers.

Your goals should be something that will keep you dreaming a lifetime. We should never stop dreaming and reaching for goals. Dreams are not just for young people. Even in your old age, you should be dreaming of how you can add to your list. As you accomplish the goals on your list and as your dreams become more clear, modify the list. Add clarity to the existing dreams or add new dreams to the list all together. Then live long enough to see them come to pass. Don't live with regret!! Don't get to the end of your life and think, "If I'd only done (blank)". Nope, that's not for you! Wake up and Live!!

To steal a quote from author Mark Batterson, "May you die young, at a very old age"!!

I am a king and these are my thoughts....